The Toxicity of “Love the Sinner, Not the Sin”

A very common phrase in Christanity is “Love the Sinner, Not the Sin”. One of their most prominent phrases in their holy book is “Love thy neighbor, like thyself”. Now, this is admirable. It really is, and what Christianity is effectively based on (peace, love, etc). However, it often accompanies the phrase “Love the Sinner, not the Sin”, in order to justify the homophobia/transphobia/etc when it comes to specific groups of individuals.

This creates a dangerous “save the person” morality path. This edges the individuals on, to make another person change (even if they don’t want to!), just to satisfy the anxiety that stems from “love the sinner, not the sin”. I could give countless examples, but I will only give contemporary examples: tattoos/piercings (despite how it’s acceptable to have single ear piercings on both ear lobes), homosexuality (or homosexual acts), transgender individuals (Christians will often use “God created you perfect” to coerce them to stay as the sex they were assigned at birth), and reproductive rights (they say life occurs right when the sperm touches the egg, however this is problematic for a multitude of reasons, an argument for another day).

I have a good friend in the adult industry. Whenever they tell individuals they are, sometimes religious individuals will begin to bombard them with religious propaganda. As someone who entered it willingly, it is very irritating to hear “God has a better plan for you” or have them throw holy water at them.

Myself, I broke away from Christanity and started my path down Paganism. Whenever I have told individuals this, sometimes I am confronted with “I will pray for you to go back to Christanity” (or something of the sort). I have also heard the phrase “Well, the Christanity you were exposed isn’t really what Christanity is about” and then will try to spiritually coerce me to go back to Christanity. I find it amusing that they try to “other” these Christians, and then end up saying something that puts them in the same exact boat as these “other” Christians.

Praying for someone only curbs your own anxiety. Yes, you do have freedom to practice whatever you chose, but this ends at the tip of your nose. You have no right to coerce or force your religious beliefs on other individuals. You can not use fear tactics (ex: “You’ll go to Hell!”) if the individual you’re using it on, does not believe in your theology.

I’m a queer adopted healthcare worker who writers in their spare time. I have a MPH degree.

I’m a queer adopted healthcare worker who writers in their spare time. I have a MPH degree.