“Show me your tits”

One of the many logos that has appeared for Chatroulette over the years

As a 26 year old I am very much aware of “chatroulette” and similar websites where horny teens (and sometimes younger, or older) would write “show me your tits”. Chatroulette has changed greatly over the years. The most recent rendition of it seems to only allow pure video chatting (no text chat).

For the girls who didn’t know any better (and/or had zero care in the world), they would bare their chest to these complete strangers on the internet. Other times, people who were working with the cops or some other authority would attempt to do some kind of ‘sting’ operation to fool pedophiles and the like.

As a sexologist, this whole phenomenon of “show me your tits” is interesting. It almost always comes from a male. The male can be any age range but tends to be 13+ (some of these people haven’t even hit puberty yet, they’re only saying it because, theoretically, they see other people see this piece of text).

One theory by an aspiring sex therapist is (paraphrased): “It is out of malice…to ‘put women in their place’ because they [the men] don’t think we [the women] should be sexual unless it’s free and with them, and feelings of resentment”. This is a great theory that does hold water. Many boys grow up in homes where men are vehemently anti-woman (even if they have a wife). If they do have a wife, the wife tends to take on a more subservient role. Sex life of these always ends up with the woman as the bottom, often with the goal of reproduction and/or solely to give the man pleasure (“oh cares about the woman if she orgasms or not”). In this sense, they’re reduced to just property and lose any sense of humanity (they might as well be a sex doll with actual skin in this scenario where the couple is doing sex only for the man to orgasm).

Personally I feel that it is because the men want to feel like they have some kind of power over women. Sex and sexuality is a form of “power” men often use to try to exhibit ‘dominance’ over women. If they have your nude images or video clips, they feel like they can blackmail you into doing whatever you want because society sees it as “Shameful” (and in some professional circles — it can certainly be career-ending, like in teaching or say healthcare).

With sex workers becoming more and more prominent, however, pictures and video clips featuring AFAB (“assigned female at birth”) body types with their breasts out, striking a sexually charged pose, and/or creating videos that involve them engaging in some kind of sexual activity, it is extremely common in today’s era to see these kinds of images. I joke with my friends when the 2060s roll around, people who were young in the 2020s (20/30-some year olds) will joke “Yeah, who didn’t have a nude image and/or sex tape in some shape or form floating around the web somewhere or have exchanged with a romantic partner at the time”.

At least in the mainstream, this phrase seems to have lost its popularity and power. I will admit, whenever I personally get a message from a man that says something like “Show me your tits” I am perplexed. There is literally an entire internet out there to get free or cheap naked photos of women (both artistic tasteful nudes and pornographic scenarios). There are animated breasts out there for people who prefer an animated woman to the “real woman”. There’s real-life sex dolls that look incredibly realistic (RealDoll is the company I have in min) as well.

I’m a queer adopted healthcare worker who writers in their spare time. I have a MPH degree.

I’m a queer adopted healthcare worker who writers in their spare time. I have a MPH degree.